DREAM SYMBOLS LETTER X
xena a strong woman with her own identity; battling enemies; saving people; a good friend; someone who was a bully has changed into a defender. Who is the Amazon woman in your life?
Xerox boredom; repetition; feeling out of control; copying someone or something. What issue needs to be enlarged, or shrunk, for you to have a clearer perspective on it?
X Files a mystery; spooky; suspense; a cover up; visitors from alien places. What is the mystery you are wanting to understand?
X-ray health issues indicated; feeling examined or under scrutiny; focusing on the surface of an issue. Where do you need to be looking beneath the surface for an explanation?
xylophone making music; all that jazz; Caribbean holiday; music that gets into your body. Where can you go to be happy and carefree for a while?
“one of the most familiar images for an analyst in dreams is a dentist.”
Letter X
I am behind a counter at a dance watching other people having fun. Xena walks up to me and asks, “When did you become a teenager?” I think this is a rather strange question. Suddenly, I burst into tears and tell her I was never a teenager, but sometimes I act like one. This is my downfall, since I am now an adult and am expected to act like one. We talk for a while and she advises, “Live your passion.” 
I look up dance and the meaning “dance to your own tune” feels right. Under Xena I read, “a strong woman with her own identity”. That’s something I feel I don’t have. Checking out teenager, the part about “finding your own space” and “rebelling against society” definitely pointed to something I had never done. Perhaps I had never found my authentic space and that, unlike Xena, I still go along with the expected norms of society. I am an adult single woman and although I have been denying it, I still think I need a man to give me identity and status. Part of me can’t live with that and therefore it messes up all my male relationships. Under passion I read, “strong desire”. My strongest desire is to feel whole within myself without needing a man. 
I decided to go to a Christmas party some friends were hosting. There was lots of dancing. I met a man there and had a lot of fun. As we danced and talked, I kept reminding myself that I was not a teenager out on a first date but that I was Xena; I was a strong, loving, independent woman who is free to enjoy adult relationships. At the end of the party, I asked the man out on a date, something I’d always been told a woman should never do. He not only wanted to go out with me, but said I had just beaten him to the punch asking first. 
I am involved in the first adult opposite-sex relationship of my life. He is not afraid of strong women and I am learning to be myself with him. The image of Xena pops into my mind whenever old patterns threaten to surface. I also find that I am much more active in other areas of my life and am starting to do things that I had put on hold. I am getting in touch with my passion for art, music and a great relationship . . . with myself. 
I pondered this teenage mentality that I have been acting out in so many ways throughout my life, and realized that I had gotten mixed messages from my parents. My mom said “change yourself to please a man”; my dad said, “be yourself and develop your own talents”. I had been trying to please both my parents and meet the expectations of their conflicting advice. Whenever I moved toward following my passion and being myself, I assumed I would always be alone. Xena is a great role model, symbolizing a woman who can be single, strong, passionate and whole. Ironically, when I decided to be fully myself and get on with my own life, I met someone who likes me that way. It feels great to want a relationship, instead of needing one.